# Jerk Off BBQ: Agent-Direct Score F (0%)

Site: http://jerkoffbbq.com/
Report: https://directindex.org/r/jerkoffbbq.com
Scanned: 2026-10-21 (Provisional, with the action test and the assistant citation check still to come. The hatched part of the bar isn't measured yet.)
Jerk Off BBQ is largely invisible to agents.
AI assistants can't open Jerk Off BBQ's website, so they go by what other sites say about it.

## Direct links
- Address: 3 Creekside, SE8 4SA, London

## Nearby, also direct
Places near Jerk Off BBQ that take a booking or an order on their own website, with no marketplace in between.
- Paddy Wok (10 m): https://directindex.org/r/paddywok.com
- Sultan Sofrasi (220 m): https://directindex.org/r/sultansofrasi.co.uk
- Monika (280 m): https://directindex.org/r/monikarestaurants.com
- Pho Me (300 m): https://directindex.org/r/lephoshop.co.uk
- Viet Rest (320 m): https://directindex.org/r/vietrestltd.co.uk

## What to fix first
- **The site turns away every visitor that isn't a browser, AI agents included.** (+22 points) A plain fetch was refused (TimeoutError: The operation was aborted due to timeout). Only a real browser got the page. Every AI crawler and agent gets turned away the same way, so Reachable scores 0 and the rest is measured on the page as the browser rendered it. Ask the host to let the AI user agents through. Guide: https://directindex.org/guides/blocking-ai-crawlers-without-knowing
- **No structured data for the business.** (+15 points) Add schema.org JSON-LD for the business (Restaurant, LocalBusiness or the closest type, with name, address, telephone and openingHoursSpecification, plus servesCuisine and acceptsReservations). Every assistant reads this block first, and the fix kit below has it filled in. Guide: https://directindex.org/guides/structured-data-restaurant
- **No booking or ordering link on the website.** (+15 points) There's no link on the site for an agent to follow. If you take bookings or orders through a platform, link to it from the site so agents can find it. Add a booking or ordering page on your own domain. Guide: https://directindex.org/guides/book-direct-on-your-own-website
- **No menu or price list found.** (+7 points) Agents answer 'what do they offer?' from marketplaces instead. Add a page with the menu or price list and link to it from the homepage. Guide: https://directindex.org/guides/menu-pdf-ai
- **No working HTTPS.** (no points, but worth doing) The page is only served over plain http. Browsers and agents rank it lower or refuse it.

## Fix kit: What to paste

Structured data (JSON-LD). Paste it as one block in the page's head, or in the builder's custom code box. Change anything that's wrong.

```html
<script type="application/ld+json">
{
  "@context": "https://schema.org",
  "@type": "LocalBusiness",
  "name": "Jerk Off BBQ",
  "url": "http://jerkoffbbq.com/",
  "address": "3 Creekside, SE8 4SA, London",
  "geo": {
    "@type": "GeoCoordinates",
    "latitude": 51.476576,
    "longitude": -0.021839
  }
}
</script>
```

## Already right
- **robots.txt lets AI crawlers in.** There's no robots.txt, which means everything is allowed.

## Where it stands
8697 of 9352 in London. Top 93% of the sites scanned in this index.

| What the top 10% of the index does | Top 10% | This site |
|---|---|---|
| Take bookings or orders on their own domain | 100% | no |
| Publish the menu or price list as HTML | 87% | no |
| Let AI crawlers in (no block at the server or in robots.txt) | 94% | no |
| Structured data with address, phone and hours | 62% | no |
| Have an llms.txt | 36% | no |

Nearest places in the index: Paddy Wok (B, 12 m, https://directindex.org/r/paddywok.com); Wunderlust (D, 81 m, https://directindex.org/r/wunderlustlondon.co.uk); Kitcho (F, 215 m, https://directindex.org/r/kitcho.co.uk); Sultan Sofrasi (B, 224 m, https://directindex.org/r/sultansofrasi.co.uk); Golden Chippy (B, 241 m, https://directindex.org/r/thegoldenchippy.co.uk); Monika (A, 276 m, https://directindex.org/r/monikarestaurants.com); Chaconia Caibbean Cuisine (C, 291 m, https://directindex.org/r/chaconia.net); Pho Me (B, 297 m, https://directindex.org/r/lephoshop.co.uk); Viet Rest (B, 320 m, https://directindex.org/r/vietrestltd.co.uk); Good Friends (C, 330 m, https://directindex.org/r/goodfriendtakeaway.co.uk).

## What assistants answer
The assistants haven't been asked about this business yet. They're asked about the top-ranked businesses in each city index, and about any business as soon as it's claimed. Claim this page to be included.

The assistants were asked 13 everyday questions about London and named 66 places. Jerk Off BBQ wasn't one of them. See who was named: https://directindex.org/city/london/recommended


See what an AI agent reads on this site: https://directindex.org/r/jerkoffbbq.com/agent-view

## Businesses like Jerk Off BBQ in London

| Group | Sites | Avg score | A or B | This site |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Businesses of the same kind in London | 9352 | 54% | 35% | 0% |

The best of the businesses of the same kind in London: ALBA London - Italian Restaurant Knightsbridge (A 100%, https://directindex.org/r/alba-ldn.uk); AVA - Steakhouse & Grill (A 100%, https://directindex.org/r/avagrill.co.uk); Akatuki (A 100%, https://directindex.org/r/akatuki.co.uk); Aki (A 100%, https://directindex.org/r/akilondon.com); Al-Fanar (A 100%, https://directindex.org/r/alfanarrestaurant.com).

With the three fixes above (The site turns away every visitor that isn't a browser, AI agents included; No structured data for the business; No booking or ordering link on the website), the score would be about 80%. That would be 1645th of 9,352 in London, up from 8697th.

## The direct record
What agents get for Jerk Off BBQ, as JSON: https://directindex.org/api/direct/jerkoffbbq.com
- Book: none on record
- Order: none on record
- Menu: none on record
- Hours: none on record
- Phone: none on record

## Can an agent transact?
Measured, not scored (the score stays at spec v1.0).
- UCP profile (/.well-known/ucp, Google and Shopify's Universal Commerce Protocol): no
- ACP discovery document (/.well-known/acp.json, OpenAI and Stripe's Agentic Commerce Protocol): no
- MCP server card (/.well-known/mcp/server-card.json): no
- Ordering vendor that takes agent orders (Square, Toast, or a vendor whose terms allow agents): no

Only a real browser got this page (a plain fetch got TimeoutError: The operation was aborted due to timeout); Readable and Actionable were measured on the rendered page.

## Score breakdown
| Component | Points | Available |
|---|---|---|
| Reachable | 0 | 25 |
| Readable | 0 | 25 |
| Actionable | 0 | 15 (the action test: pending) |
| Cited | 0 | 0 (the assistant citation check: pending) |

## Agent readiness (Cloudflare)
Not measured for this scan.
- JSON-LD for the business: no

Keep watching this business (https://directindex.org/r/jerkoffbbq.com/plan): the assistants are asked again every month, and you see what changed. 2 EUR a month or 19 EUR a year.
Deep report: https://directindex.org/r/jerkoffbbq.com/deep. Ten questions phrased the way people ask them, each assistant's full answer, the eight nearest similar places, the fix plan and a PDF. 5 EUR, paid once. Reading and scanning stay free. These few euros pay for the questions sent to the assistants and for the servers.
Methodology: https://directindex.org/methodology · Rescan now: https://directindex.org/scan?url=jerkoffbbq.com&force=1